THE MUSLIM WOMAN AND HER HUSBAND

Marriage in Islam
In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each
becomes "permitted" to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation,
harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds
tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur’aan has described
this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and
compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:
(And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves,
that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between
your [hearts] . . . (Qur’aan 30:21)
This is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) unites the two
Muslim partners, who come together on the basis of love, understanding, co-operation and
mutual advice, and establish a Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they
will develop the good character and behavior taught by Islam. The Muslim family is the
strongest component of a Muslim society when its members are productive and constructive,
helping and encouraging one another to be good and righteous, and competing with one
another in good works.
The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is
seen as the greatest joy in a man’s life, as the Prophet said:
"This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous
woman."1
A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) can give to a
man, for with her he can find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living.
With his wife, he can find incomparable tranquility and pleasure.
How can a woman be the best comfort in this world? How can she be a successful woman,
true to her own femininity, and honored and loved? This is what will be explained in the
following pages:
She chooses a good husband
One of the ways in which Islam has honored woman is by giving her the right to choose her
husband. Her parents have no right to force her to marry someone she dislikes. The Muslim
woman knows this right, but she does not reject the advice and guidance of her parents when
a potential suitor comes along, because they have her best interests at heart, and they have
more experience of life and people. At the same time, she does not forego this right because
of her father’s wishes that may make him force his daughter into a marriage with someone
she dislikes.
There are many texts that support the woman in this sensitive issue, for example the report
quoted by Imam Al-Bukhaari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam:
"My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the
Messenger of Allah . He said to me: ‘Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, ‘I do
not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, ‘Then this marriage is invalid, go
and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, ‘I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I
wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have
no right to force a marriage on them).’"2
At first, the Prophet told al-Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because
the concern of fathers for their daughters’ well being is well known. But when he realized that
her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to
choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an
unwanted marriage. to be continu............